Posted in animals, cold, disney movies, elsa, frozen, Groundhog Day. groundhog, internet, Movies, new, news, WaPo

February was a bad month for Elsa from Frozen, Punxsatawney Phil & yoga pants

Feb has been stupid. Fabulously stupid. Stupid stupid.

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For a short month it packed in a whole lotta wacky.

First on the Feb dance card (BTW what the hell IS a dance card?) those fun loving law enforcement guys in South Carolina arrested an animated character because the weather has been so crappy.  This actually happened. Twice. In two different states. Because that never gets old.

According to USA Today

The Hanahan (S.C.) Police Department made the tongue-in-cheek arrest on Sunday. Her crime? Bringing a cold front into the Palmetto state and freezing a local fountain.

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“Hopefully Elsa will stay away, although it’s supposed to be cold tomorrow, so we may have to get her again,” police chief Mike Cochran told USA TODAY Network.

It wasn’t Elsa’s first brush with the law. A Kentucky police department had fun with the frigid temperatures last week, posting on Facebook that they were issuing an arrest warrant for the ice queen.

Okay then. WTF. February quite contrary.images-1

Nothing says “I’m over this weather” like weird jokey arrests by the folks paid to protect us, so an arrest warrant was ALSO issued for the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil.  According to ABC News

Police in New Hampshire have issued an “arrest warrant” for Punxsutawney Phil, citing his failure to disclose that six more weeks of winter “would consist of mountains of snow.”

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Merrimack police uploaded a humorous post to its Facebook page that it was issuing a “warrant” for Phil, the groundhog who saw his shadow last Monday and “forecasted” six more weeks of winter.

“We have received several complaints from the public that this little varmint is held up in a hole, warm and toasty,” reads the department’s post, which has received nearly 2,000 “likes” and has been shared more than 3,400 times.

And because “Feb roo air eee” wasn’t done with stupid, a groundhog day wanna-be named Jimmy got in the game too. According to WaPo:

Groundhog Day seems like a safe enough exercise. Creature emerges to see his shadow; winter is extended by six weeks. (Maybe.)

But Jimmy the Groundhog wasn’t going to make it simple for the people of Sun Prairie, Wis., this year, no sir. As Mayor Jonathan Freund leaned in to hear Jimmy “whisper” whether he had, in fact, seen his shadow, thus signaling another six weeks of winter, a terrible thing happened: Jimmy bit Freund’s ear.

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Not cool, Jimmy.

Not cool at all.

When the Washington Post says something is “not cool” it is waaaaay beyond “not cool.”

Enough yet February?  Cartoon characters and rodents arrested and attacking.

Done?

Oh hell no.

February wasn’t done yet.

Finally, the state of Montana wants to outlaw yoga pants. Are all of you people nuts?

Yoga. Pants.

In Montana.

Like life isn’t tough enough?

Oh February, stick a fork in it. puhlease.

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Posted in animals, internet, new, news, videos, women, youtube

The dress and llama drama just two latest to break the internet. What are the first two?

What is this “break the internet”? What does that even mean?

Hang tough for a sec.

First things first.

#thedress DID break the internet this morning.

CNBC reports this morning that:

A badly lit photograph of a $77 off-the-rack dress broke the Internet Friday, spawning arguments, memes and half-baked pseudo-scientific explanations over the viral frock’s real colors.

By some reckonings, Buzzfeed invented “viral,” but its deputy news director, Jon Passatino, appeared truly surprised by just how many clicks the dress generated. He tweeted that it broke the site’s traffic records, with more than 670,000 people viewing the post simultaneously at one point and garnering 16 million hits in six hours.

Neetzan Zimmerman, formerly an editor at another viral content machine, Gawker, and widely considered an expert in virality, tweeted that the dress is a “viral singularity.”

It appears to have started with a Tumblr post of the photo, headlined “what colors are this dress,” and spread from there as those who saw white-and-gold engaged in pitched battles with the blue-and-black camp.

So basically, the social-sphere aka viral singularity exploded in colorblind angst overnight.

Times a zillion.

In the event that you’ve been under a rock, while buried in a cave, located on top of a mountain and so you’ve missed it, here is the dress:

And then of course there was the internet breaking  #LlamaDrama that happened earlier yesterday when two therapy llamas made a run for it.

Therapy llamas?

That’s a thing now?

Apparently.  But the big thing is that the mom and youngster llamas were running around like crazy people:

The run-with-the-llama’s video could have gone bigger, but they were knocked out of greater internet breaking-ing-ness by #thedress.

WTF.

Really.

W.T.F. is happening?

Image result for break the internet meme

Suddenly everyone is talking about breaking the internet.  And the rise of Tumblr, instagram and our old friend Twitter makes it easier all of the time.

According to Time.com:

Google Chairman Eric Schmidt said in October that surveillance programs like the NSA are “going to end up breaking the Internet,” because foreign governments won’t trust the United States not to snoop on their online activities. And according to The Guardian, sharks could “break the Internet” by nibbling at underwater cables.

Those events might change internet. But in the context of viral media content, “breaking the Internet” means engineering one story to dominate Facebook and Twitter at the expense of more newsworthy things. (Like, for example, the fact that humans have landed a probe on a comet for a first time in history.) So perhaps a more accurate term would be “hijacking the Internet,” since really these stories seem to be manipulating online fervor rather than shutting the whole thing down.

Oh.

Hijacking the internet.

Kim Kardashian anyone?

This from November of 2014:

Kim Kardashian Paper Magazine

Sorry. We’d all like to un-see that one.

Broken internet or not.

On a much more wholesome note; a month earlier BuzzFeed said that:

In September Taylor Swift “broke the Internet” when she wore a T-shirt saying “no it’s Becky,” a super-meta reference to a Tumblr post where a user insisted that a picture of young Taylor was, in fact, someone named Becky.

"no its becky" is an iconic Tumblr post in the Taylor Swift fandom.

 

Which collectively lost its shit overnight when Taylor herself appeared in New York City WEARING A "NO ITS BECKY" TEE.

I have to get out more. Or stay in more. #Oneofthose.

Posted in animals, internet, new, news, Uncategorized, youtube

The tiny hamsters are killin’ it again. Tiny meals mean big numbers.

Cat videos are so 2010. Know what gets watched millions and millions and millions of times on YouTube these days?

Tiny hamsters. Eating tiny food.

When a tiny hamster ate a tiny burrito earlier this year the YouTube video got nine million views.

Just let that sink in for a minute.

Nine MILLION views.

Yeah. That is a tiny hamster eating a tiny burrito.
Yeah. That IS a tiny hamster eating a tiny burrito.

Sensing a tsunami of popularity the brains behind the videos, who happen to be an advertising/social media company called Hello Denizen followed with a tiny hamster eating tiny birthday cake. Boom. Nearly four million more views.

And every time a hamster-turned-mini-celeb eats a hot dog or birthday cake millions of peeps check out the vids. Tiny hamsters are so cool.

With turkey day in our sights, it can only mean one thing.Tiny thanksgiving for tiny hamsters.

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Unlike the burrito, birthday cake or hot dog eating, this is a whole meal. That’s gotta mean guests…it IS the biggest meal of the year after all. So two tiny hamsters shared the bountiful feast with a rabbit and a rat. Because why not? Everybodys gotta eat.

Great article in the WaPo about how the videos are made but the short version is trained hamsters (yeah, that’s a thing) hamster-safe recipes, 12 hour photo shoots and unmitigated cuteness.

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Best quote about why anybody would go to the time/trouble of devising recipes for the look-alike foods used in all of the videos?

Well, you can’t just plop a burrito down in front of a hamster and expect him to eat it.

No words. Really.

Posted in Uncategorized

Kim Kardashian couldn’t break the Internet – but Al Roker came close

Everybody needs a goal. Lose 10 pounds. Retire at 35. Survive the work week. Goal-ish kinda things.

Breaking the Internet is like that. Sort of. Except when it is Kim Kardashian. images

This was a publicity stunt for a mag oh-so-cleverly called Paper. Together the relatively unknown magazine and 34 year old Ms. Kardashian hoped to break the internet this week. Sigh.

More than two billion peeps world wide use the internet every day. Now most of them are wishing they hadn’t “clicked here” when tempted with the bare bottomed pic of Kim.

If breaking the internet is a thing, the Kardashian heinie came pretty darn close to working. How sad is that? Millions and millions of internet users couldn’t look away fast enough. And it’s hard to unsee something like that.

Not going to post it here…you really don’t want to see it.  And if you do wanna see it, well you already have.

No worries though. Paper wasn’t just about the pics. Oh no.  They had great interviews too:

This issue is a COLLECTORS ITEM! Pairing Kim Kardashian with the legendary photographer Jean-Paul Goude was the kickoff. Like it or not, Kardashian is a Hyper-Pop-Culture-Icon-Institution. She understands fame and popularity as if it were coded in her DNA. Goude popped the cork on what makes her an icon: it is not just her ass, but her willingness to give us 100 percent.

Yeah that happened. Kim gave all of us 100 percent.

Never one to let a moment of  pub go undocumented Kardashian also tweeted the images of herself with her own amusing message,

“And they say I didn’t have a talent…try balancing a champagne glass on your ass LOL.”

The web was invented when Kimye was 9 years old (that’s 25 years ago for you non-mathletes) and it’s creators didn’t dream of reality tv, selfies, or frankly Kim Kardashian. Apparently her skill involves oil and some surgery. Stay classy Kim.

Just when you thought it was safe to open your browser on Thursday the mag released a full frontal nudie pic.

Funny thing on the way to breaking the internet though, instead of more endless faux celeb Kim traffic, the totally uncool Al Roker’s record breaking looooooooooong weathercast had the twitter verse goin all #Rokerthon.

The “Today Show” weather institution finished his 34-hour broadcast a few minutes after 8 on Friday morning, putting him in line for a Guinness world record and making “Rokerthon” the hottest trending topic on Twitter.

You go Al.