Posted in animals, DC, news

1 thing the fed gov’t needs now: a few good border collies

I had a birthday last week and the world did not stop spinning. Life returned to normal. Perfectly oddly un-ironically normal.

The headline-making crisis in DC on Tuesday was a good example. The big news was, well, poop.

No. Seriously.

Actual poop.

Left by actual canadian geese on the National Mall.

Yahoo News courtesy of Reuters reported that:

Washington goose poop prompts officials maybe to let the dogs out  

Yeah okay so Reuters doesn’t get any points for good grammar in headline writing but the Washington Post does:

Geese-be-gone plan calls for dogs to rid National Mall of fowl that foul                                                                            

goose poop

Clever headline writing aside, who knew that those good looking ganders leave behind 2 – 3 pounds of poop every day?

geese 1

The National Park Service knows and they don’t like it. At. All.

Can’t blame ’em.

With income tax season looming most of us want our federal tax dollars doing a tiny bit more than pooper scooping.

OTOH, ain’t nobody a fan of that sh#@ all over the Reflecting Pool, Lincoln Memorial or Washington Monument. Literally.

The solution?  Use dogs to move the geese over to grassy areas that might benefit from more “fertilizer.” In other words, unleash the hounds. Or the herders.



Yup, the federal gov’t wants to let the dogs out. On the National Mall. To get rid of the pesky pooping problem.

border collie with geese

See what I mean, just another day in DC.

The National Park Service has launched a new program that it calls “goose harassment services.”

Cue the Collies — the Park Service wants to use Border Collies to fix the goose problem.

As the owner of a certain Border Collie named Teddy, I wondered if he could be drafted into service. I’ve never seen him with a goose but promise him a treat and that guy will do damn near anything.

ted best

No worries Ted. Uncle Sam is looking for PROFESSIONAL Geese Herding Border Collies. All Border Collies are born and bred to be herders but this is not a job for rookies.

The Park Service says that dogs and handlers must have five years of experience with Canada Goose harassment in order to take part.

The Park Service’s goal is to have the dogs “herd and harass but not harm” the geese.  The border collies will just be forcing the geese into different grassier areas to do their business.

If only all govt problems could be solved so simply.

My dream for the reflecting pool this summer? The Florida girl in me just can’t help it:



Posted in animals, news, PETA, Uncategorized

Tatted up terriers and pierced pugs? C’mon people, really? Just say no to piercing & tattooing pets!

New York state just banned piercings and tattoos on pets.

No, not the “how-to ID my-pet-if-he/she-goes-missing” kinda tattoos.

NY state just outlawed the “I think my dog would look super cool with a pierced nose ring or a flower tattoo” tattoos.

The people who do this weird-ass thing call them decorative pet tattoos and piercings.

Yeah, it’s a thing.

pierced pug

Wow, missed that loop completely.

According to Reuters yesterday –

New York is banning pet tattoos and piercing under a state law aimed at curbing the trendy practice of inking or even maiming animals to make fashion statements.



Body art like tattoos and piercings on pet animals?

Fashion statements?

Cough*stupid* cough. Just pass the scooby snacks and walk away. If common sense doesn’t prevail, or animal cruelty doesn’t come to mind when taking Fido in for a tat, maybe a $250 fine or a little time jail time will do the trick.

tattoo poodle


The law does make exceptions for markings made for identification or medical reasons, but to keep the wackiness to a minimum which is apparently now necessary, those exceptions only include preapproved letters and numbers. Even those funky hairless cats are hatin’ on this dopey trend.


tatoo cat

Posted in animals, Movies, news, religion

The Pope says all dogs go to heaven. Really. Okay, maybe.

Tired of walking behind your doggie with that stupid little plastic bag? How ‘bout walking behind a dog with that damned plastic bag for the rest of eternity?  Ummm, wtf?

News out on Friday that according to Pope Francis, dogs will be waiting for their best friends inside the pearly gates.

Or not.

Heavenly dog doody duty? Too soon.

The Pontiff didn’t actually say that dogs go to heaven, it was just sorta kinda implied.


The real deets:

While comforting a child who’s beloved dog had just died Pope Francis consoled him with the fact that the boy would be seeing the animal again.


Animal lovers rejoiced! Cuz right this minute there are 525 million dogs in the world.

That’s like a million zillion dog lovers world-wide. Pretty sure that every one of them was thrilled to hear that their four legged bestie would be waiting for them on the other side.

all dogs go to heaven

But even news for dog lovers doesn’t go undebated, because well, tis the season.

Media reports say:

While the declaration from the controversial pontiff might have brought consolation and relief to animal-loving Catholics who have mourned the loss of a pet, it probably caused Church conservatives more hand-wringing over their fears about their pope’s escalating “liberalism.”

Yawn with a rawhide bone and a tummy rub.

This is not exactly official Vatican speak. More like tempest in a teakettle, Catholic style.

Theologian Charles Camosy told the NYTimes that Francis’ pastoral language isn’t really meant to be dissected by academics,

“If the pope were to speak directly to a young boy in the hopes of comforting him, his statements would need to be seen for what they are.”

Bottom line? If you want Fido to meet you heaven then you just keep on believing.

As for cats making it to the big litter box in the sky? Oh hell no. That’s just crazy talk.