Posted in new, news, Uncategorized, women

Can we really trust Amazon Dash?

I’ve seen the future.

Wait.

I wrote that very phrase in the middle of March. About Lavanda. The cool English wash & fold-your-laundry-20 minutes-after-you-call service.  And I’m all about that.

But…

 

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Yesterday Jeff Bezos, bless his heart, shoved a different future down my virtual throat.

It’s called Amazon Dash.

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If selected to participate, you get some push buttons from Amazon, stick ’em where you want ’em, push ’em when you need it and BOOM. The product shows up at your house the next day, maybe even sooner according to the WSJ.

Like this:

Oh sure, looks like a cool shopping hack.

Think a little harder though and you get creeped out.

Apparently Amazon and popular products are edging closer to anticipating your every need.

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Follow this through with me:

Today you push a button.

Tomorrow you don’t need to push a button cuz Tide knows when you need it.

Next month Tide will likely tell you that you are doing it wrong.

Oh goody. Laundry detergent, toilet paper and dog food are the bosses of me.

Creepy, right?

The future?

Maybe.

Trust ’em?

Oh hell no.

 

 

 

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Posted in internet, new, news, Uncategorized

Jeff Zuckerberg, Oprah Winfrey & Kindle all want the same thing – Got Books?

Mark Zuckerberg thinks you don’t read enough books.

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Putting his social media site where his mouth is and following in the Oprah book club footsteps Zuckerberg has launched a new Facebook community, “A Year of Books.” Like a social media book club. Without wine.

The Zuck is right about (at least) one thing; Americans aren’t reading books like they used to. According to the Pew Research Center:

Nearly a quarter of American adults have not read a single book in the past year. The number of NON-book-readers has nearly tripled since 1978.

Okay, cracking the spine of a new read or firing up the dusty Kindle reader is a good idea but does anybody really want Facebook gazillionaire Markie Z picking out the books you need to read? Maybe not. Probably not.

A Facebook/social media book club is not all that shiny and new but it is smart, especially when Mr. Facebook himself will be actively participating. Zuckerberg contends that people cannot live on reading social media posts alone – totally true.

The wonky part of his Facebook Book Club notion is that it turns preachy by sentence number two;

We will read a new book every two weeks and discuss it here. Our books will emphasize learning about new cultures, beliefs, histories and technologies.

Like the college prof who is always late for his own class this sounds like a lecture about the right things to be reading.

Cat videos, status updates, and dreary ambiguous “good thoughts needed” posts aren’t very mind-expanding. Check.

Books are mind-blowing. Check.

Any good book is mind expanding. Any reasonably good book is thought provoking too.

That’s the rub.

People who ENJOY reading, read.

But people have to find their own zen place when it comes to most of the books they choose to read. Reading should be enjoyed. Relished. Anticipated.

The New Yorker and lots other peeps credit The O for (re)popularizing book clubs AND reading:

…at a time when literature no longer has a monopoly on cultural relevance, Winfrey has been the reason why literature has any game left in it at all. She started the Book Club in 1996 as a segment on the nationally syndicated “Oprah Winfrey Show,” and the twenty-two books she picked in the first three years sold an average of one million four hundred thousand copies each.

Oprah and her book club captured the essence of fun-with-books by including books, authors and subject about all sorts of things. Smart books. Good books. Books that people loved and books that people loved to hate.

Oprahs Book Club Returns To Promoting Living Authors

Some people enjoy reading about new cultures, beliefs, histories and technologies.

Some don’t.

Some like mysteries or fiction or Fifty Shades of Gray.

Kudos for the passion Mr. Zuckerberg but note to self: keepin’ it real and keepin’ it occasionally fun might get more people reading.

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Posted in animals, DC, internet, new, news, Uncategorized

Top trends in 2015. What’s in. What’s out. What in the hell does BAE mean?

2014 was the year that duck face (the weird pucker face that girls make for selfies) made it in,

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LOLcat (the plethora of funny cats online) became a thing

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and the word bae were all added to the dictionary.

You missed it? Bae? No worries. Bae is used as a term of endearment or to describe something as generally good or cool, as in “your ride is bae.”

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Okay, lots of people had to look bae up.

Trying not to fall hopelessly out of style is damn hard work.

Happily every year The Washington Post publishes a  list of what’s in and what’s out. You can read one list and staying hip doesn’t seem so hopeless. For now.

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Hipsters, Millenials, Gen Xers and Boomers take note though: Wapo’s 2015 list was in equal parts reassuring,  confusing and discomfiting.

Reassuring to know that these things are out:

  • Vaping
  • Matt Lauer
  • Cauliflower

Also good to know that:

  • hashtag activism is being replaced by t-shirt advocacy
  • you can say adios to “let it go” and start using Let. It. Go.
  • Breaking Bad and House of Cards binge watching have been replaced by binge listening to Serial podcasts.
  • Narratives are finally being usurped by Facts

Here’s where it gets confusing:

  • Lumbersexuals have been replaced by Urban Nomads
  • Office tiaras are giving way to Formalwear pasties
  • Hipster taxidermy is out. Unironic taxidermy is well, unironically in.

Ummm. K. Lumbersexuals? Office tiaras?

Basically if you nodded off at any point in 2014 you missed whole trends. In other words, hip can turn to sh*t in the blink of an eye. Wow. Total First World Problems.

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Note to self: thick-cushioned soles, conscious uncoupling, and orange wine are all hot new trends for 2015.  As soon as you figure out what any of that means.  Discomfiting? Like a boss.

 

 

Posted in new, news, Uncategorized

A Christmas Day grinch on a plane. Until he wasn’t. You go American Airlines!

Air travel hasn’t been comfortable or cool for ages, so when frazzled airline workers try to make it suck a little less around the holidays most people would find that a momentary pleasantry. Or in the case of this Christmas Day traveling scrooge  offensive and worthy of vitriol. Because why not?

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The New York Post reporting:

The man was waiting to board American Airlines Flight 1140 to Dallas on Christmas Day when a cheerful gate agent began welcoming everyone with the Yuletide greeting while checking boarding passes.

The grumpy passenger, who appeared to be traveling alone, barked at the woman, “You shouldn’t say that because not everyone celebrates Christmas.”

The agent replied, “Well, what should I say then?”

“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man shouted before brushing past her.

Well ho ho ho to hell, to you too! No word on the cause of his surly sourpuss or the reason for the seasonal distaste. But the hapless traveler wasnt content to rail against one flight attendant, he really lost it when greeted again inside the plane.

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Yahoo News says:

Once on the plane, he was warmly greeted by a flight attendant who also wished him a “merry Christmas.” That was the last straw.

“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man raged before lecturing the attendants and the pilot about their faux pas.

The crew tried to calm the unidentified man, but he refused to back down and continued hectoring them.

He was escorted off the plane as other fliers burst into cheers and applause.

And there you have it. Cheers. And.  Applause. Cuz the only thing worse than air travel is the guy in the seat next to you determined to make it even worse.

Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Festivus  – celebrate ’em or don’t. Respect them or not. But each to his own pal, each to his own.

C’mon grinch guy, show a little class.  Tis the season!

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Posted in new, news, travel, Uncategorized

Florida overtakes New York in population. ORANGES are the new black.

Florida has just edged out New York! Raise an over-sized glass at Margeritaville in the Keys and toast the sunny southern tip of America.

New census data out says that the sunshine state just took a big old bite out of the big apple, or at least out of NY state. Florida is now the third most populous state after California and Texas. The home of the City That Never Sleeps slips to fourth place and is another sign that east coast growth is so last century.

Long known for theme parks, gators, curl-killing humidity and retirement, cough*old people* cough, the population of The Sunshine State is now growing by hundreds of people every day. EVERY. DAY.

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Can’t say that for the likes of Buffalo, Schenectedy, Rochester or even NYC.

Jobs? Quality of life? Affordable housing?

Step aside eastern seaboard snobs, this is a job for Florida.

What’s up with Florida?

No, it’s not what you think – the population growth is not senior citizen intensive.

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No state income tax and no snow have always sounded pretty attractive. But more than that, the people are friendly, the population is diverse and the state is virtually surrounded by wide sandy beaches.

Helloooo relo.

This time of year the east coast is surrounded by fog, freezing drizzle, short tempers and stupid slow traffic. Florida is sounding better all the time, even to the House of Cards wannabe’s.

Course haters gonna hate and Florida’s got plenty of ‘em.


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Trailer parks, Girls Gone Wild spring breakers, a propensity for wearing flip flops and America’s most outlandish, stupid criminals make “ef ell” an easy target.

But laugh all you want.

Moving vans and motor homes clog I-95 South 365 and 24/7.

Note to self; those northbound lanes are running wide open.

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Oh and there is just one more tiny thing about Florida.

Florida’s status as the single biggest political swing state renders it super important to politicians and pollsters these days.

Remember the Presidential election re-count in 2000?

537 votes from Florida decided the Presidency.

So wether you vote red or blue, caucus all you want in Iowa, New Hampshire or in Ohio. It’s all gonna come down to the voting in Florida.

You can sell the Uggs on e-bay on your way down.

 

Posted in new, news, travel, Uncategorized, youtube

“Don’t Jerk & Drive” Campaign has been pulled. No joke. Too soon?

Nothing like a good public safety campaign to make you cringe. Or laugh. Or cringe AND laugh.

You didn’t miss this Yahoo news story did you?

 South Dakota officials have canceled a public safety campaign to raise awareness about the dangers of jerking the steering wheel on icy roads, saying it’s too risque. 

Apparently, this jerking the wheel thing really does happen and is a legit prob in the frozen wind-swept icy land of South Dakota.

The Department of Public Safety has pulled the “Don’t Jerk and Drive” ads, which played on the double-meaning of the word “jerk.” Highway Safety Director Lee Axdahl told the big South Dakota newspaper The Argus Leader earlier this week that the double meaning was intentional, to grab people’s attention.

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Roger that.

Safety Director Axdahl  says the department would prefer drivers keep their cars out of the ditch and their mind out of the gutter. Afraid that ship has already sailed.

His boss, Public Safety Director Trevor Jones is cancelling the social media and television ads. He says he doesn’t want innuendo to distract from the goal of saving lives on the road.

Once a “public safety campaign” reaches Jon Stewart it’s safe to say that it isn’t about safety anymore.

South Dakotans aren’t alone in the public-safety-is-a-laughing-matter – maybe they are on to somethin’

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Posted in animals, news, PETA, Uncategorized

Tatted up terriers and pierced pugs? C’mon people, really? Just say no to piercing & tattooing pets!

New York state just banned piercings and tattoos on pets.

No, not the “how-to ID my-pet-if-he/she-goes-missing” kinda tattoos.

NY state just outlawed the “I think my dog would look super cool with a pierced nose ring or a flower tattoo” tattoos.

The people who do this weird-ass thing call them decorative pet tattoos and piercings.

Yeah, it’s a thing.

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Wow, missed that loop completely.

According to Reuters yesterday –

New York is banning pet tattoos and piercing under a state law aimed at curbing the trendy practice of inking or even maiming animals to make fashion statements.

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Trendy?

Body art like tattoos and piercings on pet animals?

Fashion statements?

Cough*stupid* cough. Just pass the scooby snacks and walk away. If common sense doesn’t prevail, or animal cruelty doesn’t come to mind when taking Fido in for a tat, maybe a $250 fine or a little time jail time will do the trick.

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The law does make exceptions for markings made for identification or medical reasons, but to keep the wackiness to a minimum which is apparently now necessary, those exceptions only include preapproved letters and numbers. Even those funky hairless cats are hatin’ on this dopey trend.

 

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