Posted in new, news, travel, Uncategorized

Florida overtakes New York in population. ORANGES are the new black.

Florida has just edged out New York! Raise an over-sized glass at Margeritaville in the Keys and toast the sunny southern tip of America.

New census data out says that the sunshine state just took a big old bite out of the big apple, or at least out of NY state. Florida is now the third most populous state after California and Texas. The home of the City That Never Sleeps slips to fourth place and is another sign that east coast growth is so last century.

Long known for theme parks, gators, curl-killing humidity and retirement, cough*old people* cough, the population of The Sunshine State is now growing by hundreds of people every day. EVERY. DAY.

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Can’t say that for the likes of Buffalo, Schenectedy, Rochester or even NYC.

Jobs? Quality of life? Affordable housing?

Step aside eastern seaboard snobs, this is a job for Florida.

What’s up with Florida?

No, it’s not what you think – the population growth is not senior citizen intensive.

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No state income tax and no snow have always sounded pretty attractive. But more than that, the people are friendly, the population is diverse and the state is virtually surrounded by wide sandy beaches.

Helloooo relo.

This time of year the east coast is surrounded by fog, freezing drizzle, short tempers and stupid slow traffic. Florida is sounding better all the time, even to the House of Cards wannabe’s.

Course haters gonna hate and Florida’s got plenty of ‘em.


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Trailer parks, Girls Gone Wild spring breakers, a propensity for wearing flip flops and America’s most outlandish, stupid criminals make “ef ell” an easy target.

But laugh all you want.

Moving vans and motor homes clog I-95 South 365 and 24/7.

Note to self; those northbound lanes are running wide open.

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Oh and there is just one more tiny thing about Florida.

Florida’s status as the single biggest political swing state renders it super important to politicians and pollsters these days.

Remember the Presidential election re-count in 2000?

537 votes from Florida decided the Presidency.

So wether you vote red or blue, caucus all you want in Iowa, New Hampshire or in Ohio. It’s all gonna come down to the voting in Florida.

You can sell the Uggs on e-bay on your way down.

 

Posted in new, news, travel, Uncategorized, youtube

“Don’t Jerk & Drive” Campaign has been pulled. No joke. Too soon?

Nothing like a good public safety campaign to make you cringe. Or laugh. Or cringe AND laugh.

You didn’t miss this Yahoo news story did you?

 South Dakota officials have canceled a public safety campaign to raise awareness about the dangers of jerking the steering wheel on icy roads, saying it’s too risque. 

Apparently, this jerking the wheel thing really does happen and is a legit prob in the frozen wind-swept icy land of South Dakota.

The Department of Public Safety has pulled the “Don’t Jerk and Drive” ads, which played on the double-meaning of the word “jerk.” Highway Safety Director Lee Axdahl told the big South Dakota newspaper The Argus Leader earlier this week that the double meaning was intentional, to grab people’s attention.

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Roger that.

Safety Director Axdahl  says the department would prefer drivers keep their cars out of the ditch and their mind out of the gutter. Afraid that ship has already sailed.

His boss, Public Safety Director Trevor Jones is cancelling the social media and television ads. He says he doesn’t want innuendo to distract from the goal of saving lives on the road.

Once a “public safety campaign” reaches Jon Stewart it’s safe to say that it isn’t about safety anymore.

South Dakotans aren’t alone in the public-safety-is-a-laughing-matter – maybe they are on to somethin’

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Posted in animals, new, news, travel

Pig on a Plane…not so much. Emotional Support Pig too unruly to fly.

Before the tryptophan could kick in, most Americans were already giving thanks that they were sitting down to turkey dinner and not on an airplane. With a pig.

Cough*better with bacon*cough.

Yeah. A select few Americans had been aboard a flight out of Hartford’s Bradley Aiport when a female passenger boarded with her pig.

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The pig was her Emotional Support Animal.

The pig was also 70 pounds, running amok, squealing and pooping in the airplane aisle. There are so many things wrong with that sentence.

Facebook, Twitter and the late night comedians are ready with the requisite and well-deserved jokes.

Both passenger and pig were removed from their plane because the service pig was “unruly.” USA Today reported that:

A US Airways crew ordered a disruptive pig off a plane this week, The passenger and her pig left the flight after crew members decided the animal had to leave because of its disorderly behavior, Laura Masvidal, a spokeswoman for US Airways-parent American Airlines.

Wait. What?

Yes, support animals provide tremendous and well documented help to their owners. Support animals are the heroes of the animal kingdom. Adorbs, right?

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Service animals are typically dogs.

Sometimes cats.

The occasional monkey.

But a pig?

Turns out that ANY animal can be an emotional support animal. Horses, ferrets, snakes, pigs, probably cows too.

Good to know. Here’s a little background foabout this head scratcher:

Emotional Support Animals help individuals with anxiety or depression by providing comfort and support. Any animal can be an Emotional Support Animal. Federal law does not require these animals to have any specific training and you do not have to be disabled to have an Emotional Support Animal.

If the female flyer needed emotional support – more power to her. But her porky pal obviously wasn’t up to the task.

The animal should have good social skills if taken in public places. 

More importantly, this is just rude.

Rude. Rude. Rude.

WHO TAKES A PIG ON A PLANE?????  

Can you imagine having a seat mate board with A PIG?

Donkeys flying makes more sense. Snakes on planes have never sounded so good.

Posted in travel, Uncategorized

It’s all fun and games until the lava leaves the lamp

Now that it’s been declared a national disaster, the ooey gooey smokin’ hot lava flow on Hawaii’s Big Island is back in the news. Seems like the volcano spewing lava just won’t take no for an answer.

We are talking MOLTEN LAVA.  The pics in your head of epic lava are probs way cooler than the nasty looking black-crusted goo streaming down the mountain side in America’s paradise of the Big Island.  Nothing epic or remotely Hollywood-esque about it. This just looks gross.

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Pre-natural disaster title it’s been quiet on the lava front all week because the flow has slowed to a stop. For the time being. What’s up with the lava thing? Turns out that Pele (no, the other one) the Volcano Goddess has actually been erupting stuff for decades. You might know her better as the Kilauea Volcano, but she has been belching, spewing and burping in a very un-ladylike fashion for a long time. Thirty. Years. Long.

In this latest episode, lava has been streaming down the volcano’s side toward the northeast since June. Last weekend, it crossed a country road. It then smothered part of a cemetery, toppled trees and burned a shed, tires and grass. It’s stopping, it’s starting, it’s all whatev! Pretty much a waiting game right now with no homes lost, no loss of life. Just smokin’ hot nastiness.

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Lava sounds sorta cool, but it looks pretty gross. Now people are grabbing selflies and poking the lava with golf clubs. Everybody’s gotta be somewhere.