Posted in animals, cold, disney movies, elsa, frozen, Groundhog Day. groundhog, internet, Movies, new, news, WaPo

February was a bad month for Elsa from Frozen, Punxsatawney Phil & yoga pants

Feb has been stupid. Fabulously stupid. Stupid stupid.

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For a short month it packed in a whole lotta wacky.

First on the Feb dance card (BTW what the hell IS a dance card?) those fun loving law enforcement guys in South Carolina arrested an animated character because the weather has been so crappy.  This actually happened. Twice. In two different states. Because that never gets old.

According to USA Today

The Hanahan (S.C.) Police Department made the tongue-in-cheek arrest on Sunday. Her crime? Bringing a cold front into the Palmetto state and freezing a local fountain.

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“Hopefully Elsa will stay away, although it’s supposed to be cold tomorrow, so we may have to get her again,” police chief Mike Cochran told USA TODAY Network.

It wasn’t Elsa’s first brush with the law. A Kentucky police department had fun with the frigid temperatures last week, posting on Facebook that they were issuing an arrest warrant for the ice queen.

Okay then. WTF. February quite contrary.images-1

Nothing says “I’m over this weather” like weird jokey arrests by the folks paid to protect us, so an arrest warrant was ALSO issued for the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil.  According to ABC News

Police in New Hampshire have issued an “arrest warrant” for Punxsutawney Phil, citing his failure to disclose that six more weeks of winter “would consist of mountains of snow.”

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Merrimack police uploaded a humorous post to its Facebook page that it was issuing a “warrant” for Phil, the groundhog who saw his shadow last Monday and “forecasted” six more weeks of winter.

“We have received several complaints from the public that this little varmint is held up in a hole, warm and toasty,” reads the department’s post, which has received nearly 2,000 “likes” and has been shared more than 3,400 times.

And because “Feb roo air eee” wasn’t done with stupid, a groundhog day wanna-be named Jimmy got in the game too. According to WaPo:

Groundhog Day seems like a safe enough exercise. Creature emerges to see his shadow; winter is extended by six weeks. (Maybe.)

But Jimmy the Groundhog wasn’t going to make it simple for the people of Sun Prairie, Wis., this year, no sir. As Mayor Jonathan Freund leaned in to hear Jimmy “whisper” whether he had, in fact, seen his shadow, thus signaling another six weeks of winter, a terrible thing happened: Jimmy bit Freund’s ear.

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Not cool, Jimmy.

Not cool at all.

When the Washington Post says something is “not cool” it is waaaaay beyond “not cool.”

Enough yet February?  Cartoon characters and rodents arrested and attacking.

Done?

Oh hell no.

February wasn’t done yet.

Finally, the state of Montana wants to outlaw yoga pants. Are all of you people nuts?

Yoga. Pants.

In Montana.

Like life isn’t tough enough?

Oh February, stick a fork in it. puhlease.

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Posted in animals, Movies, news, religion

The Pope says all dogs go to heaven. Really. Okay, maybe.

Tired of walking behind your doggie with that stupid little plastic bag? How ‘bout walking behind a dog with that damned plastic bag for the rest of eternity?  Ummm, wtf?

News out on Friday that according to Pope Francis, dogs will be waiting for their best friends inside the pearly gates.

Or not.

Heavenly dog doody duty? Too soon.

The Pontiff didn’t actually say that dogs go to heaven, it was just sorta kinda implied.

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The real deets:

While comforting a child who’s beloved dog had just died Pope Francis consoled him with the fact that the boy would be seeing the animal again.

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Animal lovers rejoiced! Cuz right this minute there are 525 million dogs in the world.

That’s like a million zillion dog lovers world-wide. Pretty sure that every one of them was thrilled to hear that their four legged bestie would be waiting for them on the other side.

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But even news for dog lovers doesn’t go undebated, because well, tis the season.

Media reports say:

While the declaration from the controversial pontiff might have brought consolation and relief to animal-loving Catholics who have mourned the loss of a pet, it probably caused Church conservatives more hand-wringing over their fears about their pope’s escalating “liberalism.”

Yawn with a rawhide bone and a tummy rub.

This is not exactly official Vatican speak. More like tempest in a teakettle, Catholic style.

Theologian Charles Camosy told the NYTimes that Francis’ pastoral language isn’t really meant to be dissected by academics,

“If the pope were to speak directly to a young boy in the hopes of comforting him, his statements would need to be seen for what they are.”

Bottom line? If you want Fido to meet you heaven then you just keep on believing.

As for cats making it to the big litter box in the sky? Oh hell no. That’s just crazy talk.

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Posted in animals, Movies, new, news, Uncategorized, videos, youtube

Blockbuster much? Jurassic Trailer at twelve million views in ONE day!

Know what’s better than fresh popcorn and good seats? If you are Stevie Spielberg it’s a movie so anticipated that twelve million people watch the trailer in the first twenty fours hours after the release.

The trailer.

Not. The. Movie.

Yeah. That’s happening.

Spielberg didn’t direct this Jurrasic movie, but he was the Executive Producer – read that creative control and lots of cash. So the trailer has been long awaited

Again, not talking about the movie but the TRAILER.

In case you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know much about Jurrasic World; think Chris Pratt meets Disney World dino-style.

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Kind of a fun view. Watch this:

It’s a good trailer. CNN  raves about it:

Be sure to check out that water show involving what looks to be a basilosaurus leaping out of the water to devour a shark!

Allrighty then. Creatures eating sharks are always cool.

Just two small problems.

Haters gonna hate. Scientists are already pointing out the scientific shortcomings in the movie.

Because apparently we non-nerds were in danger of believing that the movie WAS REAL. And the fact lovers at CNN couldn’t resist and took the scientfic bait:

While the movie might not win any awards for scientific accuracy, the trailer has certainly built up a lot of anticipation for its summer 2015 release — not to mention the fact that we don’t get a good look at that genetically modified dinosaur that terrorizes many in the park.

Got it. The dinosaurs in the movie trailer aren’t real.

And then there are the trailer lovers. Millions of ’em. Vox.com sea the trailer greatness comes because the trailer reminds us of Jaws, ET, Alien, Hunger Games and oh yeah, Jurassic Park all rolled into one.

Therein lies the second problem.

The trailer is the whole movie…drama, emotion, dino-sized surprises and all. After joining the millions of people who’ve already watched the trailer you will feel like you’ve already seen the movie. Kind of flies in the face of what the trailer was supposed to do. Dontcha think?

Posted in Movies, Netflix

Crouching tiger, hidden dragon, happy gilmore

Move over House of Cards and Orange is the New Black. Adam Sandler is the new normal on Netflix. The creative coup pulled off by streaming service Netflix this week portends changes in Hollywood and more importantly for the regular folk, this could mean big changes in movie theatres.

Netflix announced earlier this week that it will release a sequel to the blockbuster action flick Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on the SAME day that it premiers on Imax screens.

Streaming the new movie. Available only on Netflix. At home.

No Regal Cinemas, no AMC Theatres, no popcorn, no nothing. You can almost feel the nail-biting from here.

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That was followed by news that Hollywood cutie Adam ‘big box office’ Sandler has inked a deal for exclusive Netflix distribution of four new movies. No movie theater release of the Sandler movies are planned. No. Theater. Release.

Think this isn’t a big deal, think again! Movie Blog Guy Thompson on Hollywood says:

Netflix is saying to theaters:

“You aren’t part of this plan, and we have one of your top draws.”

The movie theater world she is a changing and both theaters and the studios are watching anxiously.

Theatre owners SHOULD be anxious. They royally shaft the customer at every stale popcorn-covered turn. So even if you find Adam Sandler movies sophomoric you should be cheering him on.

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Here’s hoping that Netflix does set Hollywood on it’s ear.

Movie tickets and even snack prices are completely ridic. Requiring a second mortgage for a family movie night. Blogger and rocket scientist (really!) Rick Berry who calculates such things says that the soda alone comes in at $30 dollars a gallon. Regal Theatres are apparently named for the only people who can afford to go to them.

And if movies were actually GOOD these days then Hollywood wouldn’t have to be worried. Of the top 10 grossing films so far in 2014, worldwide, five are sequels, two are remakes of some kind, and 1 is a movie about living toys. Ugh.

Not exactly Gone with the Wind and generally not worth today’s 8 bucks a ticket either.  Helloooooo netflix!