Posted in animals, cold, disney movies, elsa, frozen, Groundhog Day. groundhog, internet, Movies, new, news, WaPo

February was a bad month for Elsa from Frozen, Punxsatawney Phil & yoga pants

Feb has been stupid. Fabulously stupid. Stupid stupid.

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For a short month it packed in a whole lotta wacky.

First on the Feb dance card (BTW what the hell IS a dance card?) those fun loving law enforcement guys in South Carolina arrested an animated character because the weather has been so crappy.  This actually happened. Twice. In two different states. Because that never gets old.

According to USA Today

The Hanahan (S.C.) Police Department made the tongue-in-cheek arrest on Sunday. Her crime? Bringing a cold front into the Palmetto state and freezing a local fountain.

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“Hopefully Elsa will stay away, although it’s supposed to be cold tomorrow, so we may have to get her again,” police chief Mike Cochran told USA TODAY Network.

It wasn’t Elsa’s first brush with the law. A Kentucky police department had fun with the frigid temperatures last week, posting on Facebook that they were issuing an arrest warrant for the ice queen.

Okay then. WTF. February quite contrary.images-1

Nothing says “I’m over this weather” like weird jokey arrests by the folks paid to protect us, so an arrest warrant was ALSO issued for the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil.  According to ABC News

Police in New Hampshire have issued an “arrest warrant” for Punxsutawney Phil, citing his failure to disclose that six more weeks of winter “would consist of mountains of snow.”

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Merrimack police uploaded a humorous post to its Facebook page that it was issuing a “warrant” for Phil, the groundhog who saw his shadow last Monday and “forecasted” six more weeks of winter.

“We have received several complaints from the public that this little varmint is held up in a hole, warm and toasty,” reads the department’s post, which has received nearly 2,000 “likes” and has been shared more than 3,400 times.

And because “Feb roo air eee” wasn’t done with stupid, a groundhog day wanna-be named Jimmy got in the game too. According to WaPo:

Groundhog Day seems like a safe enough exercise. Creature emerges to see his shadow; winter is extended by six weeks. (Maybe.)

But Jimmy the Groundhog wasn’t going to make it simple for the people of Sun Prairie, Wis., this year, no sir. As Mayor Jonathan Freund leaned in to hear Jimmy “whisper” whether he had, in fact, seen his shadow, thus signaling another six weeks of winter, a terrible thing happened: Jimmy bit Freund’s ear.

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Not cool, Jimmy.

Not cool at all.

When the Washington Post says something is “not cool” it is waaaaay beyond “not cool.”

Enough yet February?  Cartoon characters and rodents arrested and attacking.

Done?

Oh hell no.

February wasn’t done yet.

Finally, the state of Montana wants to outlaw yoga pants. Are all of you people nuts?

Yoga. Pants.

In Montana.

Like life isn’t tough enough?

Oh February, stick a fork in it. puhlease.

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Posted in animals, internet, new, news, videos, women, youtube

The dress and llama drama just two latest to break the internet. What are the first two?

What is this “break the internet”? What does that even mean?

Hang tough for a sec.

First things first.

#thedress DID break the internet this morning.

CNBC reports this morning that:

A badly lit photograph of a $77 off-the-rack dress broke the Internet Friday, spawning arguments, memes and half-baked pseudo-scientific explanations over the viral frock’s real colors.

By some reckonings, Buzzfeed invented “viral,” but its deputy news director, Jon Passatino, appeared truly surprised by just how many clicks the dress generated. He tweeted that it broke the site’s traffic records, with more than 670,000 people viewing the post simultaneously at one point and garnering 16 million hits in six hours.

Neetzan Zimmerman, formerly an editor at another viral content machine, Gawker, and widely considered an expert in virality, tweeted that the dress is a “viral singularity.”

It appears to have started with a Tumblr post of the photo, headlined “what colors are this dress,” and spread from there as those who saw white-and-gold engaged in pitched battles with the blue-and-black camp.

So basically, the social-sphere aka viral singularity exploded in colorblind angst overnight.

Times a zillion.

In the event that you’ve been under a rock, while buried in a cave, located on top of a mountain and so you’ve missed it, here is the dress:

And then of course there was the internet breaking  #LlamaDrama that happened earlier yesterday when two therapy llamas made a run for it.

Therapy llamas?

That’s a thing now?

Apparently.  But the big thing is that the mom and youngster llamas were running around like crazy people:

The run-with-the-llama’s video could have gone bigger, but they were knocked out of greater internet breaking-ing-ness by #thedress.

WTF.

Really.

W.T.F. is happening?

Image result for break the internet meme

Suddenly everyone is talking about breaking the internet.  And the rise of Tumblr, instagram and our old friend Twitter makes it easier all of the time.

According to Time.com:

Google Chairman Eric Schmidt said in October that surveillance programs like the NSA are “going to end up breaking the Internet,” because foreign governments won’t trust the United States not to snoop on their online activities. And according to The Guardian, sharks could “break the Internet” by nibbling at underwater cables.

Those events might change internet. But in the context of viral media content, “breaking the Internet” means engineering one story to dominate Facebook and Twitter at the expense of more newsworthy things. (Like, for example, the fact that humans have landed a probe on a comet for a first time in history.) So perhaps a more accurate term would be “hijacking the Internet,” since really these stories seem to be manipulating online fervor rather than shutting the whole thing down.

Oh.

Hijacking the internet.

Kim Kardashian anyone?

This from November of 2014:

Kim Kardashian Paper Magazine

Sorry. We’d all like to un-see that one.

Broken internet or not.

On a much more wholesome note; a month earlier BuzzFeed said that:

In September Taylor Swift “broke the Internet” when she wore a T-shirt saying “no it’s Becky,” a super-meta reference to a Tumblr post where a user insisted that a picture of young Taylor was, in fact, someone named Becky.

"no its becky" is an iconic Tumblr post in the Taylor Swift fandom.

 

Which collectively lost its shit overnight when Taylor herself appeared in New York City WEARING A "NO ITS BECKY" TEE.

I have to get out more. Or stay in more. #Oneofthose.

Posted in internet, new, news

Mailing glitter. #Fail. Glitter wins!

Passive aggressive has reached new heights, or a new low. It depends.

And while the internet is all focused on glitter and frenemies…capitalism and youth collided too. Youth didn’t win.

This really happened.

Last week a company launched itself as the perfect way to get back at your enemies…by anonymously mailing them glitter.

Fiendishly clever. Give ’em kudos, cuz haters can’t deal with scooping up that colorful, unicorn-y, almost-impossible-to-remove sparkle.

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Glitter is perfect for sending to an enemy. Or a frenemy. Diabolical.

The cleverly titled ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com billed itself as a service that would do, well, what the name says.

“We are a real service, we actually do send glitter to your enemies,” 

That’s what company founder Mathew Carpenter told The Washington Post when his company went viral.

REALLY viral.

Apparently anonymous mailing of glitter to enemies is huge. (Note to self, enemies love snail mail.)

Glitter is very small, flat, reflective particles that reflect light at different angles, causing the surface to sparkle or shimmer.  Glitter is like confetti or sequins only smaller. And better.

WaPo also elaborated in case ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com wasn’t clear enough.

Here’s how it works: Pay money to ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com and they’ll send glitter to those you hate. “We’ll also include a note telling the person exactly why they’re receiving this terrible gift,” the site explains. “Hint: The glitter will be mixed in with the note thus increasing maximum spillage.”

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Then, because frenemies and glitter really are a thing, the ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com site was immediately too successful.

Wow.

According to USA Today:

After receiving thousands of orders within the first day, Carpenter realized the error of his money-making attempt and froze the site, preventing any new orders from being placed. He then went to the site Product Hunt, where he first announced ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com, and posted: “Hi guys, I’m the founder of this website. Please stop buying this horrible glitter product – I’m sick of dealing with it. Sincerely, Mat.”

So 22-year-old Australian Mathew Carpenter offered to anonymously mail an envelope full of glitter to any address in the world for $9.99. But now he wants out – it’s just too damn glittery.

Yup.

In an e-mail response to questions from USA TODAY, Carpenter says his site has received in excess of 2,000 orders, which he described as

“way too many.” 

He added that he had “no idea” when he would reopen for orders and that at this reate he would be making glitter shipments for weeks.

Wait. What?  You offered to ship glitter to enemies and it instantly became too popular?  Ever heard of supply-chain economics? Poor poor you.

And even worse…did he say horrible glitter product? WTF dude?

Horrible glitter product? Glitter has been used decoratively since prehistoric times. And Mat (with one “t”) has clearly never been a pre-teen glitter lover.

Finally, yesterday Mat announced he is trying to sell the site and be rid of the mailable glittery product .

 

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What did he think would happen? 2000 orders is overwhelming? Really? C’mon Mat!

So Mat Carpenter loses. And glitter gets the W.

Glitter lovers know better. Their frenemies do too. A cottage industry of glitter-sending companies just popped up online:

  • actuallyshipyourenemiesglitter.com
  • shipyourenemieslove.com
  • glitteryourfrenemies.com.

Fabulous. Diabolical. Both. Yeah baby.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I think people are spending too much money on something as stupid as shipping glitter,” he wrote.

 

 

 

Posted in internet, new, news, Uncategorized

Jeff Zuckerberg, Oprah Winfrey & Kindle all want the same thing – Got Books?

Mark Zuckerberg thinks you don’t read enough books.

Mark-Z

Putting his social media site where his mouth is and following in the Oprah book club footsteps Zuckerberg has launched a new Facebook community, “A Year of Books.” Like a social media book club. Without wine.

The Zuck is right about (at least) one thing; Americans aren’t reading books like they used to. According to the Pew Research Center:

Nearly a quarter of American adults have not read a single book in the past year. The number of NON-book-readers has nearly tripled since 1978.

Okay, cracking the spine of a new read or firing up the dusty Kindle reader is a good idea but does anybody really want Facebook gazillionaire Markie Z picking out the books you need to read? Maybe not. Probably not.

A Facebook/social media book club is not all that shiny and new but it is smart, especially when Mr. Facebook himself will be actively participating. Zuckerberg contends that people cannot live on reading social media posts alone – totally true.

The wonky part of his Facebook Book Club notion is that it turns preachy by sentence number two;

We will read a new book every two weeks and discuss it here. Our books will emphasize learning about new cultures, beliefs, histories and technologies.

Like the college prof who is always late for his own class this sounds like a lecture about the right things to be reading.

Cat videos, status updates, and dreary ambiguous “good thoughts needed” posts aren’t very mind-expanding. Check.

Books are mind-blowing. Check.

Any good book is mind expanding. Any reasonably good book is thought provoking too.

That’s the rub.

People who ENJOY reading, read.

But people have to find their own zen place when it comes to most of the books they choose to read. Reading should be enjoyed. Relished. Anticipated.

The New Yorker and lots other peeps credit The O for (re)popularizing book clubs AND reading:

…at a time when literature no longer has a monopoly on cultural relevance, Winfrey has been the reason why literature has any game left in it at all. She started the Book Club in 1996 as a segment on the nationally syndicated “Oprah Winfrey Show,” and the twenty-two books she picked in the first three years sold an average of one million four hundred thousand copies each.

Oprah and her book club captured the essence of fun-with-books by including books, authors and subject about all sorts of things. Smart books. Good books. Books that people loved and books that people loved to hate.

Oprahs Book Club Returns To Promoting Living Authors

Some people enjoy reading about new cultures, beliefs, histories and technologies.

Some don’t.

Some like mysteries or fiction or Fifty Shades of Gray.

Kudos for the passion Mr. Zuckerberg but note to self: keepin’ it real and keepin’ it occasionally fun might get more people reading.

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Posted in animals, DC, internet, new, news, Uncategorized

Top trends in 2015. What’s in. What’s out. What in the hell does BAE mean?

2014 was the year that duck face (the weird pucker face that girls make for selfies) made it in,

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LOLcat (the plethora of funny cats online) became a thing

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and the word bae were all added to the dictionary.

You missed it? Bae? No worries. Bae is used as a term of endearment or to describe something as generally good or cool, as in “your ride is bae.”

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Okay, lots of people had to look bae up.

Trying not to fall hopelessly out of style is damn hard work.

Happily every year The Washington Post publishes a  list of what’s in and what’s out. You can read one list and staying hip doesn’t seem so hopeless. For now.

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Hipsters, Millenials, Gen Xers and Boomers take note though: Wapo’s 2015 list was in equal parts reassuring,  confusing and discomfiting.

Reassuring to know that these things are out:

  • Vaping
  • Matt Lauer
  • Cauliflower

Also good to know that:

  • hashtag activism is being replaced by t-shirt advocacy
  • you can say adios to “let it go” and start using Let. It. Go.
  • Breaking Bad and House of Cards binge watching have been replaced by binge listening to Serial podcasts.
  • Narratives are finally being usurped by Facts

Here’s where it gets confusing:

  • Lumbersexuals have been replaced by Urban Nomads
  • Office tiaras are giving way to Formalwear pasties
  • Hipster taxidermy is out. Unironic taxidermy is well, unironically in.

Ummm. K. Lumbersexuals? Office tiaras?

Basically if you nodded off at any point in 2014 you missed whole trends. In other words, hip can turn to sh*t in the blink of an eye. Wow. Total First World Problems.

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Note to self: thick-cushioned soles, conscious uncoupling, and orange wine are all hot new trends for 2015.  As soon as you figure out what any of that means.  Discomfiting? Like a boss.

 

 

Posted in animals, internet, new, news, Uncategorized, youtube

The tiny hamsters are killin’ it again. Tiny meals mean big numbers.

Cat videos are so 2010. Know what gets watched millions and millions and millions of times on YouTube these days?

Tiny hamsters. Eating tiny food.

When a tiny hamster ate a tiny burrito earlier this year the YouTube video got nine million views.

Just let that sink in for a minute.

Nine MILLION views.

Yeah. That is a tiny hamster eating a tiny burrito.
Yeah. That IS a tiny hamster eating a tiny burrito.

Sensing a tsunami of popularity the brains behind the videos, who happen to be an advertising/social media company called Hello Denizen followed with a tiny hamster eating tiny birthday cake. Boom. Nearly four million more views.

And every time a hamster-turned-mini-celeb eats a hot dog or birthday cake millions of peeps check out the vids. Tiny hamsters are so cool.

With turkey day in our sights, it can only mean one thing.Tiny thanksgiving for tiny hamsters.

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Unlike the burrito, birthday cake or hot dog eating, this is a whole meal. That’s gotta mean guests…it IS the biggest meal of the year after all. So two tiny hamsters shared the bountiful feast with a rabbit and a rat. Because why not? Everybodys gotta eat.

Great article in the WaPo about how the videos are made but the short version is trained hamsters (yeah, that’s a thing) hamster-safe recipes, 12 hour photo shoots and unmitigated cuteness.

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Best quote about why anybody would go to the time/trouble of devising recipes for the look-alike foods used in all of the videos?

Well, you can’t just plop a burrito down in front of a hamster and expect him to eat it.

No words. Really.