Posted in disney movies, news

Talking Barbie Is a Buzz Kill… but the Talking isn’t the Problem.

Barbie is the single most successful doll every produced.  Now she’s a hot mess.

The story? Barbie debuted in 1959 rockin’ a one piece black and white swimsuit and spiky plastic heels.

Barbie was kind of a doll hack, beauty and boobs and long hair all rolled in to one cellophane wrapped box.

Even the venerable New York Times said:

Barbie quickly morphed into a legend and an icon. For Barbie was both mirror and model, reflection and avatar.”

Okay, kinda blah blah blah…you don’t have to go all New York Timesey esoteric to get that with her glam red lipstick and gorgeous thick eyeliner, Barbie was the dream toy for little girls back in the day.

Image result for original Barbie doll

Oh sure, over the decades there was a hue and cry about Barbie’s unrealistic measurements – because pics in mags are NEVER photoshopped. But Barbie has just powered right along.

Until perhaps, now.

Why?

The imagination of every child with a Barbie in her life or in her future has just died a high tech death.

Mattel has plans to release a tech-savvy, wifi-connected doll called “Hello Barbie” that can have whole conversations with a child. Courtesy of a little wifi, a microchip and voice recognition software whenever a kid presses a button on the doll “Hello Barbie” asks them questions. An embedded microphone records the children’s responses and sends them to ToyTalk, a San Francisco-based startup.

ToyTalk records the information and responds. And. Responds.

No need for imagination at all. Sigh.

Happy Birthday, Barbie: 5 Weird Barbie News Stories Right Now| Birthday, Around the Web, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Tho they completely missed the point, the normal haters jumped right in.

Advocacy group Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood launched a petition to stop “Hello Barbie” from hitting shelves because:

Kids using ‘Hello Barbie’ won’t only be talking to a doll, they’ll be talking directly to a toy conglomerate whose only interest in them is financial. It’s creepy

The big thinkers at Georgetown’s Center for Privacy and Technology said:

In Mattel’s demo, Barbie asks many questions that would elicit a great deal of information about a child, her interests, and her family. This information could be of great value to advertisers and be used to market unfairly to children.”

Image result for talking barbie

Creepy.

Unfair.

Just sad.

Mattel sez they want kids to form an actual relationship with their doll.

CNN says:

Little girls have been talking to their Barbies for decades but one coming out this fall will actually listen

Don’t you get it?

She always did.

 

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Posted in animals, cold, disney movies, elsa, frozen, Groundhog Day. groundhog, internet, Movies, new, news, WaPo

February was a bad month for Elsa from Frozen, Punxsatawney Phil & yoga pants

Feb has been stupid. Fabulously stupid. Stupid stupid.

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For a short month it packed in a whole lotta wacky.

First on the Feb dance card (BTW what the hell IS a dance card?) those fun loving law enforcement guys in South Carolina arrested an animated character because the weather has been so crappy.  This actually happened. Twice. In two different states. Because that never gets old.

According to USA Today

The Hanahan (S.C.) Police Department made the tongue-in-cheek arrest on Sunday. Her crime? Bringing a cold front into the Palmetto state and freezing a local fountain.

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“Hopefully Elsa will stay away, although it’s supposed to be cold tomorrow, so we may have to get her again,” police chief Mike Cochran told USA TODAY Network.

It wasn’t Elsa’s first brush with the law. A Kentucky police department had fun with the frigid temperatures last week, posting on Facebook that they were issuing an arrest warrant for the ice queen.

Okay then. WTF. February quite contrary.images-1

Nothing says “I’m over this weather” like weird jokey arrests by the folks paid to protect us, so an arrest warrant was ALSO issued for the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil.  According to ABC News

Police in New Hampshire have issued an “arrest warrant” for Punxsutawney Phil, citing his failure to disclose that six more weeks of winter “would consist of mountains of snow.”

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Merrimack police uploaded a humorous post to its Facebook page that it was issuing a “warrant” for Phil, the groundhog who saw his shadow last Monday and “forecasted” six more weeks of winter.

“We have received several complaints from the public that this little varmint is held up in a hole, warm and toasty,” reads the department’s post, which has received nearly 2,000 “likes” and has been shared more than 3,400 times.

And because “Feb roo air eee” wasn’t done with stupid, a groundhog day wanna-be named Jimmy got in the game too. According to WaPo:

Groundhog Day seems like a safe enough exercise. Creature emerges to see his shadow; winter is extended by six weeks. (Maybe.)

But Jimmy the Groundhog wasn’t going to make it simple for the people of Sun Prairie, Wis., this year, no sir. As Mayor Jonathan Freund leaned in to hear Jimmy “whisper” whether he had, in fact, seen his shadow, thus signaling another six weeks of winter, a terrible thing happened: Jimmy bit Freund’s ear.

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Not cool, Jimmy.

Not cool at all.

When the Washington Post says something is “not cool” it is waaaaay beyond “not cool.”

Enough yet February?  Cartoon characters and rodents arrested and attacking.

Done?

Oh hell no.

February wasn’t done yet.

Finally, the state of Montana wants to outlaw yoga pants. Are all of you people nuts?

Yoga. Pants.

In Montana.

Like life isn’t tough enough?

Oh February, stick a fork in it. puhlease.

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