Passive aggressive has reached new heights, or a new low. It depends.
And while the internet is all focused on glitter and frenemies…capitalism and youth collided too. Youth didn’t win.
This really happened.
Last week a company launched itself as the perfect way to get back at your enemies…by anonymously mailing them glitter.
Fiendishly clever. Give ’em kudos, cuz haters can’t deal with scooping up that colorful, unicorn-y, almost-impossible-to-remove sparkle.
Glitter is perfect for sending to an enemy. Or a frenemy. Diabolical.
The cleverly titled ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com billed itself as a service that would do, well, what the name says.
“We are a real service, we actually do send glitter to your enemies,”
That’s what company founder Mathew Carpenter told The Washington Post when his company went viral.
Apparently anonymous mailing of glitter to enemies is huge. (Note to self, enemies love snail mail.)
Glitter is very small, flat, reflective particles that reflect light at different angles, causing the surface to sparkle or shimmer. Glitter is like confetti or sequins only smaller. And better.
WaPo also elaborated in case ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com wasn’t clear enough.
Here’s how it works: Pay money to ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com and they’ll send glitter to those you hate. “We’ll also include a note telling the person exactly why they’re receiving this terrible gift,” the site explains. “Hint: The glitter will be mixed in with the note thus increasing maximum spillage.”
Then, because frenemies and glitter really are a thing, the ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com site was immediately too successful.
According to USA Today:
After receiving thousands of orders within the first day, Carpenter realized the error of his money-making attempt and froze the site, preventing any new orders from being placed. He then went to the site Product Hunt, where he first announced ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com, and posted: “Hi guys, I’m the founder of this website. Please stop buying this horrible glitter product – I’m sick of dealing with it. Sincerely, Mat.”
So 22-year-old Australian Mathew Carpenter offered to anonymously mail an envelope full of glitter to any address in the world for $9.99. But now he wants out – it’s just too damn glittery.
In an e-mail response to questions from USA TODAY, Carpenter says his site has received in excess of 2,000 orders, which he described as
“way too many.”
He added that he had “no idea” when he would reopen for orders and that at this reate he would be making glitter shipments for weeks.
Wait. What? You offered to ship glitter to enemies and it instantly became too popular? Ever heard of supply-chain economics? Poor poor you.
And even worse…did he say horrible glitter product? WTF dude?
Horrible glitter product? Glitter has been used decoratively since prehistoric times. And Mat (with one “t”) has clearly never been a pre-teen glitter lover.
Finally, yesterday Mat announced he is trying to sell the site and be rid of the mailable glittery product .
What did he think would happen? 2000 orders is overwhelming? Really? C’mon Mat!
So Mat Carpenter loses. And glitter gets the W.
Glitter lovers know better. Their frenemies do too. A cottage industry of glitter-sending companies just popped up online:
Fabulous. Diabolical. Both. Yeah baby.
“I think people are spending too much money on something as stupid as shipping glitter,” he wrote.