The Pope says all dogs go to heaven. Really. Okay, maybe.

Tired of walking behind your doggie with that stupid little plastic bag? How ‘bout walking behind a dog with that damned plastic bag for the rest of eternity?  Ummm, wtf?

News out on Friday that according to Pope Francis, dogs will be waiting for their best friends inside the pearly gates.

Or not.

Heavenly dog doody duty? Too soon.

The Pontiff didn’t actually say that dogs go to heaven, it was just sorta kinda implied.


The real deets:

While comforting a child who’s beloved dog had just died Pope Francis consoled him with the fact that the boy would be seeing the animal again.


Animal lovers rejoiced! Cuz right this minute there are 525 million dogs in the world.

That’s like a million zillion dog lovers world-wide. Pretty sure that every one of them was thrilled to hear that their four legged bestie would be waiting for them on the other side.

all dogs go to heaven

But even news for dog lovers doesn’t go undebated, because well, tis the season.

Media reports say:

While the declaration from the controversial pontiff might have brought consolation and relief to animal-loving Catholics who have mourned the loss of a pet, it probably caused Church conservatives more hand-wringing over their fears about their pope’s escalating “liberalism.”

Yawn with a rawhide bone and a tummy rub.

This is not exactly official Vatican speak. More like tempest in a teakettle, Catholic style.

Theologian Charles Camosy told the NYTimes that Francis’ pastoral language isn’t really meant to be dissected by academics,

“If the pope were to speak directly to a young boy in the hopes of comforting him, his statements would need to be seen for what they are.”

Bottom line? If you want Fido to meet you heaven then you just keep on believing.

As for cats making it to the big litter box in the sky? Oh hell no. That’s just crazy talk.


3 thoughts on “The Pope says all dogs go to heaven. Really. Okay, maybe.

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